This process has been very helpful. Yes, I do miss my husband. I miss him every day and I think about him all the time. I’m just starting to think about him with less sadness . I can go for days without crying. I can contemplate my future without fear. Who will I be as I evolve? Not a widow but a woman. Not an object for compassion but a force to be reckoned with. Don’t misunderstand me. I loved being the caterpillar I was but now that this option is no longer available to me I am learning to love the idea of the butterfly I must become. Let the metamorphosis begin!

Since the end of June we have spent time every week at our Cancer Clinic for either treatments or dressing changes, and we have had the opportunity to speak with doctors, nurses and patients about their experiences. One thing is very clear to me; those with a positive attitude do much better than those without.

We certainly understand the anxiety, distress, fear and lack of control that goes along with a cancer diagnosis – none better – but we also understand that there are things you can control, and those things can help to mitigate the effects of the rest. Take control of your mind set. Do whatever you can to release negative thoughts and behaviours and encourage any and all positive thoughts and feelings. Do it every day.

One of the things I did for my husband to help support a positive attitude was to make a recording of affirmations specifically to help during his chemotherapy. This recording, which he listens to every night at bed time, confirms his belief in the appropriateness and efficacy of his chemical therapy and the efforts of his entire medical team. It also works to mitigate side effects and support general good health.

And, as it is meant to, it works! He has not had to reduce the dosage or frequency of his treatments. His appetite is good and he sleeps well. He is cheerful and optimistic. He has not missed one of his weekly golf games with his buddies and best of all during a time when things could be so difficult and so stressful between us we have grown even closer, experience deeper intimacy and have learned to appreciate each other so much more than ever before.

We know we’re not out of the woods yet – we still have a long way to go before we can claim a victory, but with a strong positive attitude we know we can get through this and much more.

Because my husband had benefitted so much from his recording I am offering it, for free, to anyone who is undergoing chemotherapy treatments. Click here for your free, 15 minute MP3 recording.

As a caregiver I know first hand the stress and anxiety we go through trying to support our loved ones who are fighting cancer. The feelings of fear, helplessness and inadequacy are almost overwhelming. You need support too so I am also offering a special affirmation recording for caregivers of cancer patients. Click here for your free, 15 minute MP3 recording.

I would love to hear your feedback and comments on the recordings and, if I can help you manage your stress or other related issues, please don’t hesitate to contact me at brigid@ocenasidehypnotherapy.com.

Fast forward five months to the end of April when he gets the diagnosis of colon cancer. His attitude hasn’t changed. If anything he has been relentlessly positive through his pre operative course and surgery. Aside from some nausea and expected localized pain, he managed the post surgical experience very well. Today he astounded his GP with how far he is in his recovery. His diet is back to normal and he is working on increasing his daily activity. We have no idea how the next few months will unfold but for sure his positive attitude is here to stay.

The experience has made us ask some interesting questions though.
Why did he decide to change his attitude this year? Goodness knows I’ve been nagging him for decades about it.
Could his subconscious, knowing that health issues were on the horizon, bring him to the realization that he had to adopt a more positive attitude?
And of course; How can others benefit from his trans formative experience?

While their symptoms are generally the same as the ones women experience; irritability, insomnia, increasing irrational fear, aggression and relationship tension, many of them feel awkward about seeking help to deal with these life limiting issues and often wait till some sort of crisis has occurred in their professional or personal life before making the call.

Male stereotypes play a large role in mens reluctance to seek assistance. Men are taught early on that they are supposed to be the problem solvers, that they are strong, and that they are not supposed to get emotional or allow things to bother and upset them. Many feel bewildered by overwhelming emotions, uncomfortable that their expectations for themselves are not being met and unhappy that their relationships are suffering. They tell me that they are disappointed that they are not participating in their family lives they way they want to be and are eager to be better men, fathers and husbands.

The relief is overwhelming when they discover that by changing some of their beliefs they can regain control over their emotions, can let go of their fear and re-engage fully in their families again. They enthusiastically embrace the process of making these changes and are excited with the positive results.

If you know a man who is suffering from non specific anxiety, who is having trouble participating fully in his family or work life, whose increasing phobic behaviour is limiting his day to day activities, or who goes from calm to angry easily and for insufficient reason, they could get relief and release from hypnotherapy.

To find out more about how hypnotherapy can help men and women suffering from non specific stress, contact me at brigid@oceansidehypnotherapy.com.

I was thinking the other day about what I wish I had known ten years ago about the law of attraction, energy and healing that would have really helped me. I came up with a few things I wanted to share as you may find them useful:

I wish I had known:

1. That I was right to believe in my ideas..
2. That my journey of spiritual exploration was natural and valid.
3. To trust myself more and to not listen to those who said I was a bit ‘whacky’ and ‘weird’.
4. Not to take it all so seriously.
5. To meditate more and focus into the moment.
6. That making mistakes is OK, I do not have to be perfect.
7. That I do not have to know everything and I never will.
8. That love really is the most powerful thing.
9. To take more action to create the life I want.
10. That being me is the very best thing for me.
11. To explore my beliefs more and the key to success.

I am sure there are more but these came to mind, I hope they are useful to you.
David Marshall

To find out more about David Marshall, and the Law of Attraction,visit his site at : www.consciouscreation.co.uk

It’s not that my husband is blasé or is in denial. On the contrary; he knows what he is up against and he is preparing himself for the ordeal ahead (more tests, bowel resection, healing, chemotherapy and close follow up for years to come) His GP, who is also his friend, is very proactive and is monitoring all aspects of his care. His general surgeon is the best available in our area and our Cancer Clinic is one of the best in the country. All this notwithstanding, he knows that maintaining a positive attitude is probably THE most important things he can do to ensure an optimal outcome.

We are using several techniques to help him keep on the optimistic straight and narrow. He uses EFT to transform negative thoughts to positive ones, he has started listening to an MP3 of healing affirmations I recorded for him and we have gratefully accepted all offers of healing thoughts and kind wishes from friends, family and complete strangers.

We will be celebrating my husbands 63rd birthday next Sunday. He may be in surgery, awaiting surgery, or recuperating from surgery; we may have to postpone the cake and champagne; we may have to toast him with clear fluids and lime Jello® in his hospital bed but regardless of where we are in the process, we will definitely be celebrating this very special re ‘birth’ day.

Dad was told that the young man had been cursed. He had serious offended a member of the community who subsequently hid a matchbox containing the hair and blood of the dying man; it was believed that if he didn’t find the box, he would die.

I don’t remember how the story ended; if they were able to find the match box or if the poor young man did, indeed, die from his belief.

Then, again, in the 80’s, I worked for a man who, after being told he had 6 months to live, flew his family to some tiny village in Indonesia and underwent ‘psychic surgery’ to remove a tumour in his stomach. I met him ten years after going to Indonesia. He and his whole family were true believers that ‘psychic surgery’ saved his life.

Life or death – your choice? What (and how strongly) do you believe?

EFT is regularly used for the treatment of many physical symptoms including things like physical pain, hunger cravings and anxiety. I have used it very effectively for headache, bee stings, the arthritis pain in my hands and feet and for reducing the levels of anxiety when I have been worried about the health or wellbeing of a friend or loved one.

Here are some simple yet powerful EFT statements to use in conjunction with the tapping points for effective control of pain or anxiety.

Even though I have this (terrible headache/painful bee sting/chronic back pain), I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.

Even though I am very anxious about (writing my biology exam/giving the presentation/my finances) I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.

EFT Diagram

I also recommend EFT to my clients for help with any physical symptoms they experience when quitting smoking, or when dealing with overwhelming emotions. It’s wonderful to have such an effective non pharmaceutical pain reliever/mood leveler at one’s command!

That being said, EFT is also very effective for initiating and supporting belief change simply by modifying the statement you say while tapping.

By transforming the state you are currently experiencing:
Even though I am really anxious about making my presentation in front of the organization,
into a positive and successful outcome:
I know that what I have to tell them is vital to their success.
you can reduce the anxiety you feel while at the same time instill the belief that public speaking is not so frightening because the audience is there to learn from you – not to criticize you.

EFT is invaluable for people who suffer from panic attacks, because it immediately reduces the levels of overwhelming anxiety that can be not only paralyzing, but terrifying.

EFT is not only effective, but it is safe, non addictive and FREE. The technique is easy to learn and easy to teach and the more you use it, the better your result.

My previous caveat applies: If you stub your toe, use EFT to deal with the pain. If you beak your toe – go to the doctor.

So you have decided to quit smoking. You want to stop hiding your habit from your boss, your business associates and your kids and you’re fed up with all the hassles, the cough, the mess and the smell. You are really ready to quit – good for you!

Before you go to your doctor for a prescription to help you quit smoking, please investigate your non pharmaceutical, holistic alternatives. Some doctors are quick to pull out the prescription pad, and many of us here in Canada have extended health plans that pay for all but the dispensing fee, making prescription drugs financially desirable.

While the Lung Association of Canada’s website lists holistic smoking cessation methods as ‘unproven’, I have not seen any articles suggesting that they are addictive, cause depression or inspire suicidal tendencies. What it does say is that quitting smoking is ‘hard’, that nicotine is as addictive as heroin, and that people say that quitting was ‘the hardest thing they have every done’.

The fact is that people quit smoking every day.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, when you change your belief from ‘I’m addicted to nicotine and it’s going to be really hard to quit.” to “ It’s safe and easy for me to quit.” your chance of success just got much better.

That’s where the holistic approach comes in. If you are really ready to quit, talk to a hypnotherapist, or PSYCH-K facilitator. They will be able to help you change your beliefs about quitting; setting you up for success. They’ll also be able to give you tools to combat cravings, or anxiety or irritability without substituting one noxious substance (cigarettes) for another (prescription nicotine replacement therapy).

The Wiccan refer to it in their “Rule of Three” or Three-fold Law which states that whatever energy a person puts out into the world, be it positive or negative, will be returned to that person three fold (physically, mentally and spiritually). This is used to remind and admonish their followers to be thoughtful, responsible and to do the right thing. One can easily equate this law of attraction to other ethics of reciprocity like Christianity’s Golden Rule and the Dharmic concept of Karma.

I really appreciate and believe in the law of attraction; being a very grateful living, breathing recipient of its positive influence. I also believe the more you practice the more proficient you become. Just be sure that you are practicing being positive and not negative, for what you put out there, you will undoubtedly get delivered back to you. In spades!

I have been witness to repeated examples of the law of attraction. People who refuse to see, or say anything positive always complaining how tough things are for them; how unlucky they are and how things never work out well for them. On the other hand, there are those who optimistically embrace every day and are always looking for and seeing the good in others with the result of having that good reflected back at them.

Fortunately it’s very easy to start attracting more positivity into one’s personal experience. You can start by simply smiling more. When someone inquires about your health or how your day is going; reply that you are ‘great’ or that you are enjoying a fabulous morning. Like all affirmations, the more you say the words, the closer to the reality you get. Your positive response has a positive impact on everyone you come in contact with, making them pleasant and easier to deal with, making your interactions more enjoyable. And so it goes….

But don’t take my word for it. Try it yourself. Commit to being unrelentingly positive, cheerful and pleasant in all your interactions for a period of 3 months. At the end of that time, or even before, you will see that you feel better; about yourself, your work and your world. Then, with the proof in front of you, you can start to practice attracting more and more positive influences and abundance to you.

Thanks to “Starcrafts” of San Diego for the photo of the “Wiccan Rede” reproduced here.

http://www.starcraftsob.com/craft/rede.shtml